


A Non-Protagonist's Take on the Apocalypse

by TheAllKnowingOwl



Series: the way things could've, would've been [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Fiction, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 05:58:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12952830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAllKnowingOwl/pseuds/TheAllKnowingOwl
Summary: This is how I inadvertently ended and saved the world, despite being a secondary character.





	A Non-Protagonist's Take on the Apocalypse

Here is the story of how I inadvertently ended and saved the world, despite being a secondary character.

It all started when my friend Jeanie started hearing voices, which I helped with, like any proper friend, by referring her to a specialist.

The specialist prescribed some drugs, the drugs stopped Jeanie hearing the voices, and everything was fine, apart from Jeanie being a little dead to the world.

At least, it  _was_ fine, until Jeanie became a  _lot_ dead to the world, quite literally, because her entrails had become her extrails in a manner reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Which was, as I'm sure you'd understand, rather problematic.

Even more so, because the Great Pen in the Sky had decreed that it was supposed to be the other way round:  _I_  was supposed to be the exploded-vomit-balloon and  _Jeanie_ was going to go and save the world from a bunch of unquiet spirits, that weren't going to listen to a noise complaint.

So, rather than rewriting the whole damn book (which I was rather opposed to), T.G.P.I.T.S. thought it would save more money to simply push  _me_ into the protagonist role.

Which, in all honesty, wasn't much better than becoming a piece of modern art.

It really wasn't that much different to being a secondary character, except for the fact that I could now hear the voices Jeanie is got drugs prescribed for.

But the problem was, I had not been written to be a kind, self-sacrificing person: I was more inclined to leave a man behind, etc, etc.

So instead of saving the world through my love and determination (which I didn't have much of in the first place (the only reason I'm so 3D is because I was given a book to expand in, rather than a page)), I planned and plotted my way through the Apocalypse, saving as many hides as I could (including my own).

The poor Generic Love Interest didn't know what to do with himself: expecting a goddess, and getting a gremlin instead.

I gave him a lollipop and sent him over to Chick lit.

He's got a series there now.

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so the main reason for this story, was because I was so annoyed with a (really unrealistic (and that's saying something)) fantasy story, where the main character was seeing things, and told their best friend, who, of course, didn't refer them to a doctor or therapist, etc. like any normal person. I always kind of wondered where a story might lead if what I described happened, so I wrote it.


End file.
